Symbolic of JUNK!

CHIP OF WISDOM:

Proverbs 29, Verse 23

"Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor."

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CHIPPED WISDOM:

PBS gets white, Jewish people talking.  

Recently, PBS aired "American Masters: Mel Brooks", and this really got white, Jewish people talking.  More specifically, it got white, Jewish people talking to me.  The first conversation, to be fair, that I had about Mel Brooks that was inspired by this American Masters profile was with a friend of mine who isn't Jewish, but he might as well be.  We got into a disagreement (maybe) about the fact that I don't like Mel Brooks.  He was surprised.  I guess when you're white, Jewish, and reasonably funny, you're supposed to like Mel Brooks.

Last night, another friend of mine, who is definitely Jewish, remarked via text that he wished I was in New York with him so we could watch "American Masters: Mel Brooks" together.

Me: "Watching that with me wouldn't be very much fun.  Why?  Because he lacks the deep, vexing insecurities we both possess.  Or, at least, he hides it well."

Friend: "You don't even like 'The Producers'?  Fuck you!"

Friend (after some apparent consideration): "And I will fully admit that Mel's ego and personality can be extremely irritating, but even just by virtue of gathering such brilliant artists around him for his films, he deserves immense credit."

I struggle with my dislike of Mel Brooks and, when I struggle with things, I turn to my wife for answers.  As usual, she shot, and she scored.

"You don't like Mel Brooks," she said definitively, "because he's Jewish-- not only is he Jewish, he's exactly the kind of Jew you hate: he's loud, he's brash, he brags, he's in your face.  Just listening to him probably makes you want to run away screaming."

And she's right.  I heard maybe a minute, though probably less, of him doing an NPR interview and I shut it off, hitting the Power button on the radio as if a fly had just landed on it and was about to take a shit.  

"I revived the musical comedy."

"Spamalot" and "Book of Mormon" owe something to him and "The Producers".  

And maybe they do, but you saying it makes me want to vomit.  Do you have to say it?  

I'm not able, I suppose, to separate the man's personality from his work, the way I am with, say, Woody Allen.  Somehow, I can excuse the fact that Woody Allen has sexual intercourse with his adopted daughter, but I can't forgive Mel Brooks for being the sort of obnoxious Jewish stereotype that I despise-- the guy at the country club loudly talking about how his son is "DOING PRETTY WELL FOR HIMSELF" as bits of corned beef are flying out of his mouth, windjamming on cccchoffing spittle projectiles.

(That's pronounced "CCCCCCCCHHHOFFFFFING" for you fucking goyim out there.)  

I need my funny men to be insecure-- not just insecure, wracked with insecurity.  When Woody Allen gets interviewed or goes out in public, he is almost always wincing, as if a steel spike covered in peanut butter and red ants is being driven into his colon and being twisted around.  That's what I want to see.  Not Mel Brooks, who, when he's in front of a microphone and a camera looks like a kid on a Ferris wheel being inducted into the Shiteating Hall of Fame.

He sparkles, he glows, he's-- cute.

You're 86 years old, man.  Don't give me fucking cute.

OH!  SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU TAKING MY PICTURE!  CAN I HAVE A COPY?

IT MIGHT BE BLACK-AND-WHITE, BUT I'M A COLORFUL GUY!

AMERICAN FILM INSTITUTE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD?  DON'T STOP THERE!

ARE YOU FUCKING LAUGHING YET, YOU SCHMUCK?

You get the idea.  

Mel Brooks once said, "If you're quiet, you're not living.  You've got to be noisy, and colorful and lively".  He is certainly all of those things, and he knows it.  And, yeah, he's funny, too, and he knows that, too.  And he doesn't just know it, he'll tell you all about it.  And I don't know about you, but I kind of don't want to hear that, and I don't have time for someone who thinks they're funnier than I do.  And I suppose I've always been someone who admires quiet.  Conservative.  Reserved.  Maybe that's why I'm drawn to the comedy of the English.  

Not the Russell Brand kind.

I wonder what the English make of Mel Brooks.  Obviously, I'm sure there are some English people who think he's shit, and others who think he's champagne, but culturally, I mean.  I'd be willing to bet that he's not so hot over there, although I don't quite know how you'd find that out.  First of all, the English aren't big on Jews anyway, so that's one strike against him, but the over the top personality I'm sure would rub at least a certain kind of Brit the wrong way.

It doesn't matter anyway, in the end.  It probably all just boils down to jealousy in the end.  He's funny looking and Jewish and famous as hell, and I'm that other stuff, and not that other thing.  Or maybe I just don't like anyone or anything that has broad appeal, because I'm contrary and a bit of a bitch.  Or maybe it's really because, deep down, I'm a raging anti-Semite, far worse than any Englishman or sheet-wearing shithead from Tuscaloosa.  

  

Maybe.